How it all started
by bahh1
Summary: DBSK and SuJu. Couplings. YunJae. YooSu. SiChul. EunHae. KangTeuk. YeWook. Or just friend-couples. DBSK and SuJu, when they were trainees. Attempted humor. :C I tired, I swear.
1. Chapter 1

DBSK's and SuJu's trainee days.

Teams:

**Team 1 **aka "Four seasons":

Heechul,

Jaejoong,

Kangin,

Yunho.

**Team 2**:

Junsu,

Eunhyuk,

Donghae.

**Team 3**:

Siwon,

Yesung,

Leeteuk,

Changmin.

**Team 4**:

Shindong,

Yoochun,

Sungmin,

Ryeowook.

Let's boogie.

Junsu:

Ever since I quit my soccer team, I've been dreaming of becoming a singer. It's just a stupid dream, I know. But when my twin brother Junho told me, there will be trials to the SM Entertainment, I just couldn't help but to go. And guess what?! I GOT IN! I'm so happy I could eat 7 cups of ramen right now! Kim Junsu – 15 years old, in SM entertainment! I should devise a cool nickname, like a Duckman or a Duckguy or something! (Why am I thinking about ducks?)

And I got to meet my team today, the one I'll be having as friends for now. Sorry, Junho.

There are only two other guys in my team. But I'm bad with names, so I gave them random ones – The one who's name starts with Eu-or-something is now Jim. And the other who's name ends with an E (I think), he's going to be called Mr. Muffinman from now on. Just because I say so.

God, I miss Junho and soccer.

Yoochun:

Woah! I haven't been to Korea for soo long! Far out, man! So 'choo! Ya know, it's not easy for me to speak Korean anymore, so I'm laying low right nao. I have 3 other dudes in my team, too. They look kinda OK, I guess. Like, one of them looks like a weasel – Ryeowook was it? And another one is kinda looking like a girl for some reason, I dunno. Forgot his name, too. Oh, it wuz Sung—min? Or something. And the last one is like the dudes you see in MacDonalds, eating the triple-cheese-double-meat-hamburgers (Okay, he's not that bad) but he's kinda 'choo. His name is Shindong. I offered him money for food, but refused. I think he's mad at me now. Dunno. Plus, someone spit on my Gucci sweater. WHAT THE F--! Is this shizhole supposed to be our room?? MUM, I'M COMING HOME!~

Yunho:

Yepppieeh! I passed the SM entertainment dancing test-thingy! I'm so happy I could fly! Plus, i got some cool guys on my team.

One of them is like this drama queen. I know he's going to bring us so much trouble in the furture. I just know it! He's like the mother bee or something. His name is Heechul and he can't seem to stop talking about himself for some odd reason. Next one is this tought guy. I'm even scared of standing next to him. He's like 10 times bigger than me! (I have to work out some more!) If I remember correctly, his name was Kangin. The last one is just.. huh * shrugs * I mean, he just looks so.. so.. PRETTY! Heechul told me that he's one of the poor kids in there, the ones tht sell their bodies to get money. I'm sure he made it up, because he started cracking up after that – like rolling around on the ground and shit. So, all i know is that he's poor. And his name is Jaejoong. When I said 'hi' to him, he just looked at me with those angry eyes. And what's with those eyes anyway? They look like they belong to Bambi, not some boy!

Anyway, this is my team. We're going to have a lot of fun, I'm sure of it! Well, unless Heechul fucks everything up by saying Jaejoong is a hoe. His imagination goes of mysterious ways.

So far, i've been loving it here. The big people running around and we, kiddos – just standing, waiting for our trainers. Really awesome! Can't wait to go and dance..

Changmin:

I'm here just because my sister forced me to. I have a maths test in a week, for crying out loud! I can't be here right now! I have to study! Oh, I saw a pretty girl in here today. Her back was facing me and I completely fell in love. I know, it's lame for a 14 year old to fall in love, but it's true. Her hair was long and orange. Her back was soo lean and her hands were long and thin. I thought my heart was going to pop, until he turned around. His name is Heechul. I'm so embarrassed.

We have 4 teams in here this year. I'm in team 3. And the smallest. I know. Yes, ignore the small 14-year-old geek and just have some fun. * pouts *

But all in all, it's OK. My team has 3 other members – Siwon (this tough guy, who's always talkign about Heechul. Or Christ. I'm scared of him), Yesung(He looks like a bear, who's face has been crushed onto a glass, like flat.) and Leeteuk(He looks like my granny). Actually, they are great.

AN: I'm sorry for giving SuJu members some weird nicknames/caracter references, I love them all. Sorry! AND my spell check is broken once again. Sorry for that, too. **PLEASE REVIEW**, thankies!


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Jaejoongie:

God, I'm tired. I feel like a pregnant woman : my legs are heavy and I'm pretty sure my back is as sore as it gets. Like seriously. I spent 14 hous working just to me in here! This is what I want. This _is_ my dream.

One of my teammates is giving me weird looks. Actually, they all are. I don't know what I did, but the girly one just came and aksed me how was the service today. What service? What is that girl-guy talking about??

And then there's the big guy. He has this weird hairdo, so he looks kinda like a monkey. In a good way, by the way (don't wanna get beaten up by him) and he's.. kind. He's a little old-fashioned. He talks like my granny, well most of the time. Especially, when he's with that Leeteuk-guy who he affectionately calls Leeteukie. It's kind of cute seeing them together. They'll make great grandparents.

And the last guy from my team. He's the worst! He kept ignoring me and not looking at me, so I asked why he's doing that. He was all offencive and got mad at me and now he just plain stares at me. Well. That's what I (king-of) wanted, huh?

It's kind of though being here. I'm the one poor kid. And everone seems to know that for some reason. It's very awkward, when Heechul suggests going to the mall or out to eat. But that's the problem: He Himself is poor too, so how does that work out? I mean – he can't afford eating anythig else other than instant ramen either.

I miss the countryside and my sisters and everyone. But it's my dream. Gotta stay tough!

Yunho:

Ohh -crap. Oh crap. I just screwed up. Big time. The girly guy from our team – not the mother bee, but the pretty one. He asked me why I was ignoring him and I pounced him! Well, I just freaked and kind of yelled at him. And now I'm feeling bad. Plus, there still aren't any dancing lessons. I mean, how much does a man have to wait, man?

Back to the pretty boy. I wanted to apologize so I went out and got him an ice-cream cone. You know, like a fresh start or something. And he just yelled at me. He accused me of pitying him and buying him food. Well, guilty in the second part, but pitying? I've never pitied him. But he IS very girly. Even when he yells. And can you believe it – his eyes become even bigger when he screams. So I told him he was pretty and he.. hit me. On the arm. It didn't hurt at all. Really. He hits like a girl, too.

Junsu:

I think I just saw a couple fight! Between the pretty-boy and the dancing-boy! The pretty-boy just his the other! How cool is that?! I have to call Junho and tell him!

Yoochun:

Why the heck is his butt so BIG? And why is he always on the phone? DAMN these Korean people! That Junsu-guy, was he? Donghae told me about him. He makes these lame-ass gags and he thinks everyone laughs at them, actually we're just laughing at HIM. I mean, how weird can a guy be, huh?

I need to buy some new clothes. Tomorrow's the first dance lesson.

Changmin:

OH GOD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! I was late for school! I'm so humiliated! It was my first time and I cried! There in class! I seriously hate my sister for making me come here! And when I got back to the motel room, someone had eaten all the food from the fridge! How can I live like this? I mean, it couldn't be Siwon, because he's a Christian nutcase; and Leeteuk neither because he's always granny-ing with that Kangin-guy. So it must be the beaten-bear-face! Yesung, I swear to you, I'll make you pay..!


	3. Chapter 3

Jaejoong:  
YAH! How can he say that? So cruel! Yunho told me I hit like a girl! I just wanted to punch him in the face right now. But I didn't, because Heechul was here to rescue him. Why did he do that anyways? Do they have some kind of a secret relationship that I should know about?

Not that I care..

Anyways.. Then Leeteuk stopped Heechul, because he was making a scene again as always and Kangin had to come and stop his little Leeteukie before he gets hurt and then this smashed-bear-face came to save Kangin, just because he thought it was hilarious, so we ended up being a mush of 15-year-olds, almost like an orgy, so I decided to get the hech out of there.

To get some cheap ice-cream, of course.

Changmin:

I was just studying in the library at 11 o'clock at night when I hear a rucus. A bunch of trainees were gathered in the hallway, On top of each other, screaming about something, like 'stop fighting!' and 'why are you touching me there?' so I got interested and decided to take a closer look.

From my observations it looked like on top of the human pile was Shindong, heating a lollipop and singing. Under him were Yoochun, who was complaining about his clothes getting wrinkled, and Junsu, who was the one complaining about Yoochun touching his butt. I could also see Siwon praying at the left corner of the human-pile, in a creepy way. And what was creepy about him was that the girlguy I saw on the first day (and accidentally fell in love with) was totally hanging on his neck, like a little girl, screaming that it hurts. Whatever the 'it' was. I could also see Yesung's shoes, and I know it for a fact, because I put lots of stuff as a revenge in them this morning (like crackers, pins, cheese and the weird marble balls that belong to Siwon).

After my close observation I decided to go and have a snack. MMM~!

Junsu:

AY! What is this.. this MONSTER doing?! Touching my butt! JUNHO I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

I managed to wiggle myself out of the human pile (I have no idea how I even got there?!) and decided to go and have some ice-cream. It was all nice and dark for a while until I heard footsteps behind me. It was that pervyguy Yu-chu or something! I ran for my life!

Yoochun:

What the crap is that poj doin now?! He's climbing on a tree, screaming like a dolphin. Well, that's.. interesting..

..

It's been.. exactly 17minutes and he's still screaming in the tree. I guess I'll just go and have an ice-cream. Maybe get some for him, too, yo!

(God, his butt felt nice!)

Yunho.

Okay. I'm sick of this. I'll go and eat ice cream.

WHYYY GOD! Why does Jaejoong have to be here? Of all the places. Seriously. I'm getting sick of him already. And he got all pissed about me calling him a girl.

He's such a girl.

Ah, I'll just go and apologyse. Because I'm a good team-mate, right? Wrong. I think he's going to kill me in the night, so I won't make it to the dance training tomorrow.

Ah, here it goes..

**REVIEW, GODDAMNIT!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yunho:**  
Well this isn't so bad after all. Jaejoong is just.. licking an.. ice-cream cone.. umm..

I shouldn't stare..

B-but.. umm..

How can he look so pornographic? * cries *

Oh, the American guy! I'd better invite him to sit with us so it wouldn't be so weird with the pretty one.

..

Okay what does 'ayaya, checkawaka yoyo' mean? I bet he's just hungry. Very hungry. He bought two huge ice-creams.

Weirdo.

Why is he all flirty with Jae-girl-joong? I didn't know they were friends?! Okay, why is he getting up? EH? Why are they leaving? Without me? O:

**Jaejoong:**

Yunho's such a cute little dummy. Why is his face green.. ish? Kekeke.

Yuchun told us he's going to take the other ice-cream to a dolphin in a tree, whatever that means. So I suggested we go with him. And Yunho was all offended and weird and cute and dummy about it. But he is kind of.. cool, you know? He just radiates 'coolness' from every pore on his body, not that I have checked his pores or anything..

..

What is this heavenly voice?

**Junsu:**

'I BELIEVE I CAN FLYY~! I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKYY~!' God, it's awfully boring up in the tree. There's just one problem..

I'M STUCK! I can't get out! And I don't have my phone with my, or else I would call Junho and he'd call mom and dad and they would call the National Card and they would call the president and he'd call the rescuers and they'd call..

The grease-ball's back. I guess he'll do.

'HELLP~!' I'm hungry and I really need to call Junho, because I promised I'd call him at least once in an hour and after the 'orgy' I haven't called him. I miss his voice..

Why is Yu-chu just staring at me down there? Doesn't he know what 'help' means? Ooh, the pretty-boy and the dancer are here, too. * waves* 'HII~!'

What the hell is this? Spider-man? Oh, thank god, it's Siwon. MY HERO~! He's like the strongest man alive! Who cares if he's just 15? He's a _man_..

Not like that grease-ball-small-boy-no-muscles-pervy-Yu-chu.

But he DID bring me an ice-cream..

**Changminmin:**

I hope I'm not going to be in one band with these guys, ever. They just had this major rescue-a-dolphin thing, because Junsu was up on the tree singing, waking up the whole neighborhood. Total weirdos.

Lost my appetite.

**Yoochun:**

DUUDE, gotta work out, man! Get tha muscles and chill with ma black bros, yo. (not that there are any black bros around here, but..)

At least duckboy's not dead and he's lovin ma ice-cream.

Damn, yea, babeh!

(**Sorry, this is so random :D:D Review or I'll pair Siwon with Yunho and Leeteuk with ****Heechul! D: **)


	5. Chapter 5

**Yoochun:**

Guess SM dudes have shitloads of money, 'cause we're having some sporting crap that I'm not going to be a part of.

Ooh..

I know him!

His butt, at least!

'JUNSUU~!'

..

Why is he running away from meh? O:

**Jaejoong:**

I'm getting more nervous every day. Firstly, we're having a sports competition (I have no idea, why) and secondly, Yunho is just.. so HIM. You know what I mean?

**Yunho:**

HAH, finally, I can show off my manliness n front of Jaejo- * cough * everyone.

Although, it hasn't gone too smooth until now.

**Junsu:**

YAH, WHY IS YU-CHU STALKING ME?

I need Junho, so he could kick his ass-u or something!

**Minmin:**

Well, after the whole rescue-a-dolphin incident, I went home (in the SM home, I mean) and guess what? Yesung got his revenge. He totally sabotaged the stairs and my bed.

So, after falling off the 5 storey stairs, leaving my left leg paralyzed and my arm almost dead, I went up the other stairs just to find my keys missing. I guess they fell out of my pockets when I was too busy screaming my lungs out, falling off the stairs, to notice.

So I pretty much kill our door, but no one's in the room. And I have to go find the keys – on the killer stairs. It happened again – I found myself on the floor, at least someone let the front door open, so I kind of rolled on the soft grass. And I found my keys just sitting there, in front of my nose. I'm thankful Leeteuk forced us to use matching key-holders that are bright pink.

But this isn't the end of my wonderful night. So I crawled up the stairs again, my body almost completely limp, aching, me just screaming there. And as I open the door, I reach for my bed and just jump on it. Just to find all my food on it. I was too busy to notice, so I don't have any food anymore. I just have one thing to say – Yesung, you're a dead bear-boy-racoon-man!

AND we're having sports competition!

First comp is a 3-legged race.

ANDD! Because my body is completely destroyed, I'm the judge. YAY for me! :)

**Jaejoong:**

EHHH! It's the competition morning-ah! I'll be sure to put on my shortest shorts – the light blue ones, just because I can. (and I'm pretty sure Yunho loves them..)

And I'm paired with Yunho on the 3-legged race, so I'm super duper excited.

But I don't get Heechul, though. I mean, he's all offended and mad, because we decided to pair up with Yunho. And he has to be with Kangin – the gorilla man.

Seriously.

**Yunho:**

Why is he wearing those pants again? Seriously, they make him look more like a girl than he already is!e has no hair on his legs!

Although the pants are kinda hot.. I couldn't pull off a look like this..

* stares at Jaejoong's hairless legs with fascination *

**Yoochun:**

AUUUWH! * yawns *

OH SHIZ, I'm late! I slept in again, didn't I. Thanks, Shinzy, for not waking me up. (I call Shindong Shinzy, it suits him, don't you think?)

Idz tha 3-leggo race, huh? I no wanna part o it anywayz. Although.. Junzie is gonna be thar.

OOH, lez go!

**Junsu:**

Where is he? I'm scared that maybe he's hiding behind a bush or something, ready to jump me!

I think I'm a little paranoid.

Ooh, Eun-hu is here! Better talk to him, he's kind of cool-looking.

**Minnieh:**

'Okay, a little update from the judge.

Every team puts up a pair to compete in the 3-legged race. They have to run 100 meters without falling/killing each other/kissing each other/making out with each other. (Wait, who wrote this crap? Oh, Heechul. Figures.)

Anyways, you all have to run and then the winner is the winner, I guess.'

The pairs are: YunJae from Four Seasons, EunHae from team 2, Siwon and Leeteuk from my team and the two girls from team 4.

I'm pretty sure team 3 will win, the girls will kill each other, YunJae will kiss and eunHae will make out on the track. That's my option anyways, let's see, shall we?

Ready, set, GO!

OOOOH, Siwon and Teukie are running like the wind! I can see Kangin holding back his tears, 'cause someone is holding onto his granny.

YunJae are doing pretty well, but they're all awkward, because Jaejoong's bare hairless tights are touching Yunho's legs and his leg hair is all ticklish.

EunHae are unable to find a steady pace (why did it sound so wrong right now?) and are on the 3rd pace.

OOH, we have the LOSERS! It's the girls from team 4! They just fell in the mud and now they're trying to kill each other. Oh well..

It's almost the finish line – SiwonTeuk is ready to win this! Kangin is ready to bounce Wonnie in the finish line so their pace slows down! OOH, THEY JUST FELL? In a puddle of mud. Well, that's a shock.

YunJae are the possible winners now! GOGOGO! Ooh, what's this? Kangin is running in there, all grandpa and saving his Teukie, YunJae are almost past them! OMONA! Jaejoong's clumsy hairless leg is stuck behind Kangin's and he.. FALLS?

Yunho is all NOOOO~ like in the movies, catching Jaejoong and they end up in the mud also, on top of each other.

EunHae are laughing, walking past them all and Yunho is alive again, pulling Donghae's leg and they also fall.

I guess no one wins this.

That was pretty.. kickass.

(AN: sorry, all random and LONG! D: )


	6. Chapter 6

**Junsu:**

I'm totally paranoid, man! I'm afraid that Yu-chu will come and hump me. He can be in every corner, in every crack in the wall (he'll fit, because he's kinda skinny), in every bush, in the fridge, in the bathroom even!

I'd better call Junho and tell him everything. Plus, I haven't called him in 38 minutes and 26 seconds, so it's time.

And also, I'm totally excited, because the next competition is BASKETBALL!

**Yunho:**

After yesterday, I don't think I can look Jaejoong in the eyes again.

..

Oh, actually I can. He just came from the shower, all wet and girly, swinging his hips, all girly and wet and and.. I looked.

Lost my concentration now.

Oh, today's gonna be the basketball competition. I mean, I love sports, and I'm good at it so I'm going to kick ass in there!

There should be a dancing competition, so I could show off my real talent!

**Yoochun:**

AYAYAYA! I'm upp and totally kickin ass today, man! Su-boy's, of course, OHH YEA!

**Jaejoong:**

Oh god oh god, why did I come to our room with only a towel around me? Stupid STUPID Jaejoong!

Now Yunho is all staring at me and I'm staring at him and Heechul comes and stares the two of us staring at each other, so Kangin pops in the room to stare at Heechul staring at me and Yunho staring at each other and it takes an awful lot of time, so my hair will dry by then and I will have awful locks so Yunho doesn't love me anymor- umm..

.. I can still feel his hairy legs against mine.

**Changmin:**

SHOOT, I thought I could just slide the sports competition away but NOO! We are playing with 4 on 4 teams, so I have to compete. With team Four friggin Seasons, no less. If I'm standing against Kangin, he will murder me. If I'm against Heechul, Siwon will assassinate me (There's something suspicious going on between those two, I swear). If I'm against Jaejoong, Yunho will kill me and vice versa. I mean, seriously. I might as well kill myself here. Athough, I have my so I'll probably run away from the creeps.

Okay, I'm getting kind of nervous. Four Seasons are all dressed up in these green short shorts and big shirts that have their seasons on (Yunho is summer, really?) and they're all about the teamwork. We just kind of stagger on the field, hearing BOO and thumbs down because Jaejoong and Heechul have tons of fans and we're against their team.

We hear our competition talking about who they're covering – Heehcul's all excited and says he's covering Siwon (surprise surprise) and no one else is allowed to touch him; Kangin follows, saying he's covering Leeteukie because he's as gentle as a flower(he actually said it) and YunJae are just standing there, cause they want to cover each other, apparently.

DAMN, I'm like the little Cupid, who knows everything about everyone's love-life. I disgust myself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Changmin:**

OMONA, seriously, this is like a rated scene right here! Siwon is all over Heechul with his strong arms and abs and I think I actually heard Heechul moan something into his ear! Kangin is all protective of his flower Leeteukie that he forgot to notice the ball. Yesung is giving me dirty looks and well, YunJae decided to stand against the racoon for some reason and now they're all touchy touchy with each other and Yesung is just standing in front of them like what the huh.

So, all I can do is goal some points!

**Yunho:**

Maaan, we lost again?

Im totally embarrassed because we lost yet another competition and in front of Jaejoong no less.

At least my legs touched Jaejoong's again, hehehhe.

**Jaejoongie:**

Seriously? We. Fucking. Lost? Against Team 3?

We're pathetic!

At least we got a consolation prize – 5000 packs of yoghurt. What the hell are we supposed to do with 5 tons of yoghurt?

I can always feed it to the kid in team 3, the tall one. He looks all skinny, so he should appreciate my generosity, ay?

**Junsu:**

At last, we can play some real games! Woo, it's football. I'm great in football! Plus, we have Eunhyuk and he's like.. great in everything and Donghae and Donghae is great at.. umm.. staring at Eunhyuk?

Plus, we're competing against Team 4, Shin-something, the two girls and Yu-Chu.

We're so going to win this.

**Chun:**

Today's mission – play basketball (and rub my groin onto Junsu's butt, hehehe) and WIN!

I gotta be all man for ma Su, so I gotta win this shiz, ya?

**Min:**

Let the games begin.

Yoochun is covering Junsu, which means only one thing – disaster. Shindong is against EunHae, because, well. The girls are probably not going to be very cooperative, they might break their nails or something.

AND the whistle.

..

I thought Junsu was the sports guy, what's he doing? He's just running in circles, yelling (he kinda sounds like a dolphin?) and Yoochun is chasing after him, his hands ready to grab Junsu's butt. Shindong just ponced at EunHae and they're like. Just laying there. Well, what else can you do?

Well, it ended with a tie 0:0 after an hour of 'YooSus weird foreplay or whatever it is they call it (Junsu calls it rape-to-happen and Yoochun calls it sweet-lovemaking-4play or something). EunHae is still under Shindong, who's forcing their faces in the pavement, them both crying nasty things to him. Sungmin and Ryeowook actually managed to touch the ball after the first 28,4 minutes – Sungmin touched the thing like L form Death Note and Ryeowook made his eyes, both madly giggling. And they ended up roleplaying Death Note to us.

That's it for today. Going to Team 1's room, because Jaejoong promised me food. POJ!

AN: I'm sorry, this is so lousy D:


	8. Chapter 8

**Changmin:**

GOD, I. LOVE. JAEJOONG. HYUNG.

He gave me 4 tons of yoghurt and fed me a half ton.

And yes, I called him hyung. He's pretty cool, actually. For a _girl_.

**Jaejoong:**

Oh my god, he's sooo cute, like a little dog! Changmin was covered with the yoghurt and trying to lick it off of himself. I have to find my camera!

I'm pretty happy nowadays, guess why? :) NO IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF YUNHO (okay, maybe he has a little part in my happiness, but no)

My neighbourhood friend, Taegoon is here! He passed the exams and now he's a star-to-be! I can't wait to hand around with him.

Now we're sitting in my room, chatting and eating flavored instant ramen with marshmallows.

Oh Yunho came, where did he go? He looks kinda weird. Why is he looking at me like this? Like I'm guilty or something D:

**Yunnie:**

I AM SO DEAD! The dance practice was too tiring. Plus, there's this new kid, so I'm no. 2 bestest dancer now.

And WHADDAYAKNOW? (Oh. my. God. I have been hanging around Yoochun too much) the guy is sitting in our room, eating flavored instant ramen with marshmallows with _my _Jaejoong!

I AM NOT JEALOUS!

**Junsu:**

Oh, dance practice is soo cool these days. I get to hand out with Eun-something. I mean – Wilbert. That's what I named him.

Me and Wilbert went to get food after the practice and talked. I think we're going to be great friends. Although he has a funny name. Who the heck lets himself be called Wilbert?

**Buttchun:**

Why doesn't he love MEEE ;_;


	9. Chapter 9

(Omona, the last chappie was sooo short, I'm so sorry D: )

**Junsu:**

Oh, this will be grrreat! I haven't been to the zoo in ages! I remember, the last time I went to the zoo was with my family and Junho. I really really really really really really REALLY miss him. I wonder if I could call him right now?

**Changminnie:**

What's that crazy duck butt doing now? Phoning someone in the middle of the information hour, seriously.

Oh, now he's done it. Everyone's giving him death glares. Except Yoochun, he has this heartbroken lovesick grease bag grin on. I wonder what's up with them two?

Ooh, Jaejoong-hyung came! * waves *

With.. No, it's not Yunho.. It's the new guy! Where's Yunho? He's always staying close to Jaejoong these days. Maybe they had a fight or something?

Ooh, there he is, looking like a kicked puppy, walking behind Jae and Taegoon.

Something's going on here..

**Yunho:**

Oh my god, I feel so.. so.. CHEATED ON!

Jaejoong is all giggly and flirty and girly with this Taegoon-guy, who seems to be better than me in, oh, I dunno.. EVERYTHING?

I feel like I have to share it with someone. I mean, seriously! This Taegoon-guy just comes and takes my Jaejoongie?

..

_Jaejoongie._

Sounds cute.

**Siwon:**

Having no idea how I got here, I just stare at Yunho, who is fidgeting with his hands in front of me.

I offered him a Bible but he just looked at me like I had 2 heads.

Starting to talk about Jaejoong and Taegoon, I grow bored pretty soon and push the Bible into his hands, saying he'll find the answer there, and I walk away.

But no. He runs after me, hitting my head with the book. I think I'm having a concussion, but that's okay. If I pray hard enough, God will save me from death.

I give him a warm smile and politely ask him to tell me what's wrong.

He gives me a speech that sounds like he wrote it down and is now presenting it to me.

I'm having difficulties concentrating, because Heechul is giving me these looks, you know? The ones he definitely shouldn't. Never ever.

I try hard to listen to Yunho's crying/talking/handmotioning/wailing etc. but Heechul is.. I don't know if hot is the right word for a 16-year old?

..

After 2 hours of Yunho-crying/talking/handmotioning/wailing etc. he finally stops.

All I say to him is that he's jealous.

**Yoochun:**

What tha crap are EunHae doing? Shiz, dis is some sick shiz going on in here! 'Save it to tha zoo, guys!' I shout, but they're like.. shrugging n stuff.

Owh, found Susu talking with tha phone. AAH, all I hear him saying is Junho this and Junho that. Who the crap is Junho? His boyfriend? * heartbroken *

I'm like.. this close to giving this shit up, man.

Ooh, he's lookin dis way, ooh. It's ON, man. It's on.

Jaejoong:

What the heck is wrong with everyone?

Yoochun looks like he's thinking of a plan to rule the world (Junsu's world), Junsu is calling his brother non-stop, EunHae are.. well, them. Playing around in the puddles right now, actually, cause yesterday it rained. Oh, Rain would be such a cool name for a K-pop singer. Maybe I'll take it as mine.

Oh, off track again.

Changmin is just sooo excited to see me, waving frantically every time our eyes meet. That reminds me. Where is my man? (OMONA, did I just say 'my man'? I mean.. umm * blushies * Yunho.)

Ever since Taegoon came here, I haven't even seen him.

I miss him D:

AN: I hope it's longer than the last one. I PROMISE THE NEXT ONE WILL BE A SUPADUPALONGASS CHAPTER.


	10. Chapter 10

**Yunho:**

Me? Jealous? PFFF, absolutely not!

If I was jealous I'd be all offended, too angry to show my face to Jaejoong, plotting an evil plan to kill that Taegoon-guy, drinking a Strawberry-Butterscotch Monkey with a melon on top.

Wait. What? AWW MAN, I AM JEALOUS! D: * throws the drink away, Hitting Heechul's face with it *

**Junsu:**

Oh yess~! It's time for the zoo! I'll be extra sure to put something hairy on, like * this * cardigan, so I would look more like the animals..

So Yoochun wouldn't notice me.. Like a camouflage or something!

**Donghae:**

'WHAT THE HELL IS THIS YOU'RE WEARING, JUNSU?' O:

You look like a gorilla!

Gotta take a picture for Hyukie! * flash *

BUHWAHWHAHWAHWAHAHA! Junsu is so funny, I'm going to wet my pants!

**Jaejoong:**

Okay, now I'm getting worried. I haven't seen Yunho for what seems like years.. like.. _two days_!

He didn't sleep in our room today. Maybe he's got a girlfriend, so he stayed over?

HAHAHA, who want's Yunho to be their boyfriend anyway?

..

_me?_

Umm.. I have to see him now! So he could break up with his slut-of-a-girlfriend and move back home with me!

(is it just me or does it sound like some TV show?)

Okay, I'm going to find him! Right now! JAEJOONG HWAITING!

**Changminnie:**

Laala-laala-laa~!

OMOna, * hides behind a bush *

They're totally having a fight, aren't they?

Jaejoong just ran all over the place, like he was lost or something, well, that was until he found his Yunnie.

So the 'girl' rushes over the 'boy' and just..

shakes the life out of Yunho, yelling something like :"Break up with your girlfriend now! I mean it! I need you more than she does!"

And I'm pretty sure Yunho has no idea what he's talking about, he looks just dumbfounded, standing there.

(maybe because he hasn't been so close to Jaejoong.. like.. ever.)

And Jaejoong is just hysterical, I think he started crying saying "Some back home" and "Your girlfriend is a bitch!"

And Yunho finally snaps out of it, saying : "I don't have a girlfriend!"

leaving Jaejoong dumbfounded like he was just seconds ago. "What?" I hear the 'girl' ask.

"What about you, eh?" Yunho adds more fuel to the flame "I didn't want to get in the way of you and your boyfriend"

The boyfriend in there was like a bee sting.

And Jaejoong is just like O.o

"This Taegoon-guy!" Oh, Yunho is one impatient man.

"Taegoon? He's an old friend of mine, we pretty much grew up together." Jaejoong smiles.

There is this this awkward silence, cause they're both..

morons.

When are they going to realize they're totally in love with each other?

**Yoochun:**

ZOO, yo! Let'zzz goh!

Yesss, we gotta walk with pairs! Yeah, man!

I rush ovar to Junsu, who looks like a gorilla (me likey), and surprise surprise, he's not running away. Aw, who cares. I get to spend time with my Susus, yo!

**Junsu:**

Damn, the camouflage didn't work! D:

Min:

Well, because Yunho is love-struck, Jaejoong is love-struck, Yoochun is horny and Junsu pretends to be invisible, I'm going to be the 'host' again.

Pairs, pairs, pairs.

YooSu (Yoochun practically flew to Junsu)

YunJae (the turtledoves)

SiChul (Heechul is hanging onto Siwon's strong arms once again, noting new there)

KangTeuk (granny and grandpa always together, cause they walk so slowly)

EunHae (That'll be fun. Eunhyuk wants to see the monkeys first, Donghae wants to see the fishies. I'll probably follow them around all day, they look the most fun.)

YeWook (the newly found couple. They're pretty cute together, though. Makes me hate Yesung less for stealing my food.)

Ooh, I'm with Shindong. I can work with that!

..

We spent the whole day walking from a food stand to another. This is the greatest day of my life!

**Giraffe:**

Nomnomnomnombushesnomnomnom..

"Where's Junsu?" a worried Yoochun asks. I can tell he's worried, 'cause of his smell.

"I dunno. Wasn't he with you the whole time?" Yunho asks back, hugging Jaejoong, 'cause he senses that Taegoon-guy coming. I can tell, 'cause I have a long neck.

Their journey continues with a hunt for Junsu.

I can't see anymore of Yoochun nor Changmin, because the bushes are blocking my way. But I can still see YunJae standing veery close to each other, all giggly and blushy blushy, there's totally something going on between those two. (SEXUAL TENSIONNN * sings * )

AN: just try to imagine a giraffe singing, okay :D

oh, YunJae stare at me like this O.O 'cause they heard me sing.

I hear Jaejoong say: "Let's get the fuck out of here, the giraffe is freaking me out." And they walk a little further from me.

OOH, I can see something going on there.

Yoochun and Changmin are walking back, with what looks like a beat-up Junsu hanging onto their shoulders.

YunJae just stand still (Yunho's hands the only ones moving.. sneaking around Jaejoong, of course.) seeing the half gorilla-mess in front of them.

"Wh-what happened to him?" Jaejoong just stares at the ugly beat-up cardigan Junsu is wearing.

Yoochun cracked a smile :"Somehow, he got stuck in the gorilla cages.. If it weren't for his dolphin squeaks, we would've never found him."

Everything is quiet for 3 seconds..

Until YunJae burst into fits of laughter, both holding Jaejoong's tummy (Yunho just wanted to touch him, I can just smell it!)

"YAH, you guys!" Junsu snaps out of his shock, "It's not funny, I thought they were going to eat me!" He cried out, squeaking.

It's Changmin's time to crack a smile "It was a little funny."

They all end up rolling on the ground, laughing, except Junsu, he just rolls his eyes, hands on his hips.

Yoochun stops to support his boyyyfriend and they head home.

Well, not before giving me dirty looks and buying ice-cream.

End's well, all's well, or what do the people say these days.

**AN: This 'zoo-idea was made by MetallicBlueFrog, go check her stories out, they're great! And a big thank youu! (Sorry, I didn't use it MIGA D**: )


	11. Chapter 11

(AN: Well, because I have a memory like a sieve, I have to read the last chapter all over again to write a new one, and I must say.. DAMN I'M GOOD! :D I'll try to write long-ass chapies nao!)

**Min:**

It's going to be.. the second greatest day of my life today! (the first was yesterday, of course.)

And why is it the second bestesday in the world, you ask?

Well, because we're having our cook-off today!

Just imagine! 4 teams, all in the kitchen, making food, (me stealing the food), (me eating the food), (me making a sound 'mmmm' after I've eaten the stolen food)..

I could go on forever.

**Chun:**

Yo, it's like.. the cooking thingy like.. today, man!

No skinship thar, huh * pouts *

Oh well, I can always track Junsu down in the kitchen * shrug *

**Yun:**

Oh yeah! This is it! My time to show Jaejoo- I mean _everyone _what I'm made of!

(not fluffy clouds and kittens, ey?)

And might I say I'm pretty good at the kitchen, so it's going to be pretty cool,

showing off my talents, you know?

Ooh, we're wearing our matching uniforms again! The shortest shorts in the world of short shorts and the skinniest shirts in the world of skinny shirts and .. headbands.

And hairless legs.

Well, okay, only Jaejoong has hairless legs (and Heechul, 'cause he's the queen bee) but can you imagine Kangin having no hair on his legs?

Eww, I'm going to gag D:

**Susu:**

Ooh, cooking! I love cooking! I remember how me and Junho cooked in our cozy kitchen all the time..

Makes me miss him soo much..

Ooh, it's 13.57 already, gotta call my twin brotha! (Oh my god, the zoo trip with horny-Chun has made me talk like him!)

* runs around, flapping his hands *

**Chun:**

'YA, whaddaya doing, shawty?' Junsu's going crayyyyzeh in the TV room of our SM-trainee-house-thingy.

'Shiiiiiz, I'z talking like chu, man!' He FINALLY stops running, but doesn't stop flapping his hands, so he looks like a fly that's stuck or somethin.

'Chu, you say?' I grin and kiss him on the cheek, damn I'm good, man!

**Su:**

OMONA, he just KISSED ME!

I feel like I'm going to burst! I feel sick and happy at the same time!

I wanna kick him in the balls and kiss him back at the same time!

…

**Jae:**

'Whatttcha doing?' I sing and bounce in front of the two weirdos everyone calls YooSu.

Junsu's blushing madly, holding onto his cheek and not moving.

Yoochun is grinning mischievously at Junsu.

I wonder what happened?

Ooh, Junsu's alive again~!

He's now running after Yoochun with a baseball bat he just stole from Eunhyuk,

so Donghae is running after Junsu to get his Hyukie's ~ bat back.

Ooh, now Siwon is chasing Donghae, cause he took Heechul's shoe to beat Junsu with it.

Now Kangin is chasing them all and calling them morons, 'cause shomehow,

Siwon managed to push him into the kiddie pool in the heat of the chase.

This is going to end very sadly.

VERY SADLY.

.. and I mean veeery sadly..

All the kids around the block are running after Yoochun by now, but I don't bother running.

**Eunhyuk:**

Well, after yesterday, the dreadful day at the zoo, I haven't spoken a word to Donghae.

(well, I wanted to see the monkeys first, but he wanted to see the fishies, so we held hands, trying to pull each other to the places we wanted to go.

And that's when everything went wrong.

We ended up in a bush somewhere and this ostrich comes out of the same bush, making a scary voice.

I screamed like a little girl, holding onto Donghae and he yelled too. We ran away, still holding hands, until we're in front of the monkey cages.

I was all happy, but Donghae starts screaming and pulling me towards the fishies again. So we ended up fighting in front of the horseponys and I actually pushed him into an electric fence. He was all helpless, his hair up and making a sound like BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Twitching.

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I hear the ostrich running towards us again, making the noise.

So I take Donghae's hand again, and we run, but that's the problem. He's filled with electricity, so I'm dieing on his arm, also making the sound BZZZZ until both of our hairs up and well, .. long story short, we got kicked out of the zoo.)

I think it's pretty bad, cause I always tell him to go away, but today, he actually left! D:

And right now he's playing baseball by himself. Yes, he has a bat and the ball and everything!

I better say sorry or else..

Ah what the hell, I'll just play baseball with him! Better than saying sorry!

After an hour of running after the ball like a dog! I get to hold the baseball bat! WOO!

And.. wait, where did it go? It was just in my hands!

'YAH, JUNSU, YOU THIEF!' I yell after him and see Donghae chasing the dolphin now.

(Yes, everybody heard him yelling at the zoo..)

Well, everybody's chasing Yoochun and Junsu, so what the heck, I'll just join!

**Min:**

What the hellll are those morons doing now?

MAAAN, why in the world did I come here to be with these idiots?

Well, at least Jaejoong and Yunho are acting like normal people (as normal as these two can)

watching a human pile not drowning in the kiddie pool Kangin visited earlier.

..

Well, I thought wrong, 'cause Yunho's all running towards the pool, taking off his shirt and Jaejoong's following.

Well. I guess I'm the only normal person in here.

'What about the cook-off?' I yell to everyone, but they're too busy making an orgy once again.

(AN: HUUH, I'm dead. **Be good kids and review :3** )


	12. Chapter 12

12

**Min:**

So.. after that not-so-drowning-in-water-orgy, everyone got cleaned up and the cook-off will take place as planned,

plus – I'm already starving here!

I also decided to introduce Junsu to coffee. Which didn't really work out so well.

He's an addict, and ADDICT I tell you!

The hooligan keeps drinking the 'brown water', adding 10 spoons of sugar to every cup.

**Yoochun:**

Dude, what's my Susu doing?

It's like he's on crack or somethin.

Drinking da coffee.

.. dat shiz gives me an idea..

**Yunho:**

I swear, they're like.. crazy maniacs. YooSu I mean.

Yoochun is trying to (raep)ensnare Junsu into.. I don't really know what to call it.. (raep?)

He's holding the last cup of coffee in front of the twitching teen, while walking towards a closet?

.. this is NOT going to end well..

I better go tell our trainers..

*bumps into someone *

'Ooh, I'm truly sorry!"

When I look up after my bowing session, I see a smiling Jaejoong.

For some reason my cheeks light up every time he smiles at me.

His smile disappears in a flash and he just snorts :"Yah, what are you doing! Help me with the cooking!"

Oh, yeah. I forgot. The cook-off is on.

I take the rice, to wash it and boil the thing. This is easy!

**Jaejoong:**

Oh my GOD!

When I grow up (and marry Yunho) I will NEVER EVER ALLOW HIM IN THE KITCHEN!

Not in a million years!

I was all in the clouds when we bumped into each other while cooking

so I didn't really notice anything..

until he fucking SET FIRE TO THE KITCHEN!

Yes. He was watching the rice boil with this cute look on his face

and the next thing I saw WHAM! The bowl exploded!

I mean, I didn't know it could even happen! O:

He had no idea what happened, so I was trying to put off the fire and hit him with a spatula at the same time.

Yunho-yah! Why are you so (cute and) clumsy!

I feel bad for hitting him but he totally deserved it! D:

**Beat up Yun:**

Oww, Jaejoong's getting stronger these days.

I ACCIDENTALY set fire to the kitchen, so what?

It's not even a big deal.

I think Jae has been working out..

Ever since I told him he hits like a girl..

I have to work out, too! Or else I will be the girl!

OH MY GOD, I'm freaking out!

I don't want to be the girrrlll!

!

**Junsu:**

OH MY GOD WHAT WAS HE *uggggh * TRYING TO DO TO ME?

This coffee is tooo damn good to be true!

'I can't get enough of you, baby!' * talks to the cup in his hands*

Thank god Junho taught me how to do some simple kung-fu moves,

or else I would me raeped-dead in that closet right now.

**Beat up Chunface:**

Ma Susu kicked me in the balls *all smiley * again..

**Min:**

Why does everybody look beaten up? O:

Anyways, enough of these old gayers.

Let's talk about the fooood!

So, 4 teams are competing against each other in a cook-off.

Four Seasons are the most qualified winners, because when it comes to cooking,

Jaejoong kicks ass! :3

Team 2 is destined to lose, because there's only Junsu (who's laughing at Yoochun while he holds his crotch)

and Eunhae. I mean really. . Doing anything other than playing with each other? No way. (Why did that sound so wrong? )

Team 3 is.. umm.. I SEE A TRAITOR! Siwon is totally helping his Heechullie win right now!

Helping him peel the vedgetables and wash his hands..? Oh my god, so that's what they call gay porn.. O:

And I'm not really helping out, 'cause I'm people watching. And I can't really cook.

I think I will marry a girl who can cook all these delicious foods for me I will burst.. * dreamy*

And Team 4, well.. Yoochun is trying to raep his Susu, no he's of no help. Shindong is standing close to me, 'cause he knows of my intentions (stealing the food) so he want's in on the plan. And the two remaining girls – well.. they found someone's lipstick and now they're putting make up on.

Ooh, what is this? * finds a coffee cup on the table*

This will NOT end well..


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: I haven't updated this story in.. a gazillion years, I'm SOOOOO SOWWEH D:**

**JaeBoo:**

I'm trying hard to get everyone out of our side of the kitchen (except Yunho, that cutie-pie * blush *) so I tell Minnie to draw a line that no one will cross, not when I'm in here.

I tell Minnie, 'cause he's just staring at MY food and I'm pretty sure he and Shindong are thinking about stealing it.

**YunBear:**

D'awww, Jaejoong looks so cute when he's all mommy, cooking and telling that baby (what's his name? O: ) to draw a line around his 'personal space' so I just step in the circle and stand as close to Joongie as I can, just to annoy him.

I like his face when he's angry, all puffy cheeks, awwww! * squishes Jae's cheeks*

**SuSu:**

*** **GRRRF * I think – * prrf * I had – * uugh * too much CCC-COFFEE!

I feel so-

So-

ENERGETIC!

* runs around, throwing stuff down from the tables, dancing and yelling *

**MinBaby:**

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU CRAZY PERSON!' I yell, but once again, my screams are not heard.

Why, why would they throw food? FOOD? Food is to be loved, to be honored, to be bowed to and most of all.. TO BE EATEN!

'You crazy maniacs! Stop it!' I yell desperately. I don't think anyone hears me though, because everyone is too busy making a mess of the kitchen (and the glorious food) and food-fighting.

Shindong just stands next to me and opens his mouth wide, for food to find it's way in.

God, sometimes I think he's a genius * opens his mouth, too *

**Kangin**:

'YOU MORONS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY LEETEUKIE!' I yell and try to cover my lovely with my body, he just giggles, he GIGGLES! And throws food at other people, so they get mad and throw food at ME!

I hear someone yell back at us 'Hey gramps, grandma! Eat THIS!' I think it was Heechul, that punk!

'I'm going to get you for this!' I show him my angry-man fist and he hides behind Siwon, when I let a bowl of spaghetti fly towards him.

Siwon looks like a woman now, his hair all gooey and spaghetty-ish, so I kind-of get into the food fight, fighing hand-in-hand with my lovely Leeteukie.

(AN: the reason I call Kangin and Teuk gramps and grandma is because I read somewhere that they are like an old couple, all lovey dovey like that, okay? :3 )

**Yesungie**:

I thought this day will never come! I'm so happy!

* runs to his room and puts on teenage mutant ninja turtle outfit, also takes one for Ryeowook to wear *

'HAAAA I WILL GET YOU!' I throw a box of confetti towards YunJae couple, who scream at the top of their lungs. Whoops, I forgot to take the confetti out of the box :3

Ooh, Ryeowookie looks soo cute with those tights and that turtleshell!

**Yun:**

'OWWWWW!' I scream, when Yesung throws a huge box into my eye, that idiot! D:

Jae:

OMO, my Yunho got hit, don't worry baby, I'll save you! * runs towards Yun, but the floor is slippery *

'YEAAAP' OWWWW, why the hell am I so clumsy?

'Yunho, save meee!' I yell at the top of his lungs, and he does.

And then we kiss and marry each other and make lovely, sexy babies and live happily ever after..

..

Okay, actually we just hide behind a table, but close enough.

**Minface:**

OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM, I think I'm going to blow up, I had too much foood (can you believe it? I never thought it could happen O: )

So, a little reality check.

Kangin is acting as a fortress for Leeteuk – getting hit with random food, Leeteuk acting like a soldier, protecting the fortress.

Heechul is dangling on Siwon's strong arms (Did Siwon get a haircut or something? O: ) AGAIN! (srsly what is this?=

YeWook are weari- BUHWAHWAHWAHWHWHWHWHAHAHHAHA THEY ARE DRESSED AS TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES! * chokes on laughter *

EunHae are rolling on the ground, fighting. They're a pretty easy target * throws cake at them *

I see these two glomps of goo running after each other, covered by food. I'm pretty sure they're YooSu, because Junsu is still twitching from the coffee and Yoochun is screaming 'C'mere, baby' in every 5 seconds.

YunJae are hiding behind the kitchen counter, holding each other (srsly, you guys. Srsly. Get a room.)

Is it me or am I getting snarkier these days? I likee~

UWAAAA, YunJae are hitting me with four, because they heard me when I told them to get a room (I actually said it out loud?)

Uwaaaaa~ * cries in agony *

WHY IS EVERYONE AGAINST MEEE?

* exaggerating death scene *

**So, I'm trying to get back on the fanfiction-writing-horse (no I don't mean Siwon). Review and make me a happy little girl, k? :3**


	14. Chapter 14

**Jaejoongie:**

Well, that food fight didn't really end well, I guess. My hair is covered with.. I think it's the cake that the little food devil threw at us.

Oh god, my hair, my beauutiful hairr~ * overreacting cries*

'Yunho, help, I'm going to diee!'

**Yunho to the rescue:**

'Omo, my little Jaejoongie, what's wrong?' I kinda like playing along with Jaejoong when he's all hyped up and over reacting about his hair.

He's actually forcing out a tear, motioning towards his cake-covered hairdo and I can't help but to laugh.

**Heechul:**

Imma swear to god, these two gayers are going to get married soon..

I see them YunJae couple in the bathroom (yes, I like stalking them, okay?) and Yunho is washing Jaejoong's hair in the sink.

Total gagging-material, man.

'Siwon, halp! You have to wash my hair, too!' I yell. Okay maybe I'm just a little bit jealous. JUST A LITTLE!

**Foodmonsta Min:**

What is up with all these couples? I feel so alone.. * fake sob*

No, just no. I don't like men! ! D:

'It's raiiining men, Hallelooyah!' Oh no I just didn't sing that song..

**Yoochun:**

Yo dawg, come down, Su-butt!

*sigh * 'Okay, I'm sorry I grabbed your butt a little too hard, k?' I lie.

'Yah, it wasn't a little! My butt hurts! You.. ASS-RAPIST!' Junsu runs around, but I think the coffee has worn off already, cause he's now moving in slow motion, still flapping his hands like a retarded baby seal.

I guess I'm gonna have to make it up to him tomorrow.

Oh, the director-ssi told us that because we are

'ungrateful-little-annoying-loud-obnoxious-little-brats'

he's sending us to the countryside. Ya now, lyka camping thiny or some shit.

But don't be fooled, the competitions are still on, s just because we are 'ungrateful-little-annoying-loud-obnoxious-little-brats' and we don't belong to the city.

Fuck, my clothes are gonna be ruined so sho! Chun is not so happy.. :C

**SuperSu:**

I am super aren't I? Super.. Duckbutt. Super.. Salsa Sauce. Super.. Leghair? Super..Pigeons. Super.. I got it! Someone should form a band called Super Junior, probably the ones who are acting like little babies all the time. Like Eunhyuk and Donghae and the two girls and and.. No, not Kangin and Leeteuk. They should form a duo and call themselves Super Senior. Those old people, aish!

..

What the hell are these two doing..? Ryeowook is trying to pull off Yesung's Ninja Turtle outfit and Yesung's screaming 'Noooo, you'll never get me aliveee~'

..

Awwkwarrrrd~

**(You should review if you don't want Jaejoong to get raped by a bear in the forest..)**


	15. Chapter 15 Diva edition

**This chapter is dedicated to the SM divas. You are warned.**

**JaeDiva****:**

Ohhhh dear Lord (Voldemort), I'm going to dieeee (why do I keep saying that?) but right now it's true.

We've been walking for hours. I'm pretty sure the guide doesn't even know where we are. It's all trees around us. And they look the same! What the hell!

We're in the middle of a forest, for fudge sake! And my delicate-skinny-gorjas legs can't bear to hold my 9 bags anymore. I aint even kidding, yo.

'Yunho, can you help me for a second?' I make puppy eyes at the almighty Jung Yunho, my hero, my darling, my husband—okay what? WHAT? I'm getting carried away again..

The Jung almighty just pants and walks away. Are you for cereal? I think he saw through me and realized what my plan was, fuuuux..

'JUNG YUNHO! CARRY MY BAG OR YOU'RE GOING TO DIEEE!' I yell at the top of my lungs, the forest echoing it back. Whoops, now everyone is looking at me like I'm nuts, heh heh heh :3

'Yunho, please, my legs are going to die and become old man legs! You don't want that, do you? I mean, you luuurve my legs, everyone luuurvs my legs!' I beg, I actually BEG!

'Yunho-ah, why don't you love me-!' I act all disappointed in him and he just looks at me like I have something disgusting/surprising stuck on my face. Did I say something wrong?

**HeeDiva:**

PSSSh, like your legs are prettier than mine, Kim! Or should I say..

Jung..?

* cue evil HeeDiva laugh*

At least my hubby is carrying my bags.

And no, I'm not as bad as Kim, I held myself back today and took only the essentials with me to this trip. And by essentials I mean make-up, a see-through shirt, slippers with Hamtoris on them, 3 pairs of skinny jeans (different colours, of course), the slim shirt Siwon likes, my hair products, the thingies that make my hair curl so perfectly, a bunch of magazines if we get bored, Jiji – my cat, three nail polishes, my new leopard leggings, candles for romantic atmosphere, oh and underwear. Lots of underwear.

So, that makes.. just about 8.5 bags. Yes. Because I took a murse that I am carrying myself. A murse – man purse. Don't judge.

And I'm pretty sure I forgot something. Oh well, I'll just lend Siwon's.

**Min:**

YAH! I'M NOT THE DIVA! DD:

Okay anyways. A little check-one-two. Yunho refused to hold Jaejoong's 9 bags, so Jaejoong is now mad at him, all ignoring and diva.

Heechul is jealous of the famous Diva Jaejoong's beautiful legs and he forgot to take a toothbrush with him so he's sharing with Siwon. Ew much?

And to be perfectly honest, I only got my eyes on them two, because I was too busy destroying the snacks Jaejoong packed me. U mad?

So.. moving on..

Every group has their own tent they have to put up and that is also the first competition in the series of get-raped-in-the-forest-by-bears-and-no-that-is-not-really-a-part-of-the-competition-just-so-you-know. 'Competition Woods' in short.

**(AN: S****o, I guess this was the Diva Edition of the HIAS series. I guess the next chapter will be.. the Macho Edition? **

**AN vol 2: Oh, and I apologize for the grammatical errors, cause I'm so tiarz and I keep adding a-s and e-s to random parts in words. Trolilolilol :3**

**And last but not least AN vol 3: ****Comment so Changmin wouldn't get hungry in the forest and be forced to eat berries all day with them squirrels, okay?)**


	16. Chapter 16 Macho edition

**HIAS Macho edition, starto!**

**KangMacho:**

WHO THE HELL DO I HAVE TO KILL FOR SENDING US HERE?

Oh my god. What if a bear attacks us? What if we run out of food and water? What if Leeteukie gets lost when he goes into the forest to pee?

That's it, I'm never letting him out of sight..

**SiMacho:**

If anyone in here is a macho man, it's me! Am I right or am I right?

Although my back and legs feel like they are on fire after I had to carry Heechul's 8 huge bags all this way in the middle of nowhere..

Not that I'm complaining.

Or should I?Nah.

Heechul told me I was just like a horse. I just hope it's a good thing.

Anyways, the first competition here in the woods is building the tent..

'Buhahaha, popping the tent, YO!' Yoochun screams in my face. What even.. What is this person.

I think he's possessed.

I'm just waiting for him to turn his head 360 degrees so I could conduct and exorcism on him.

And I should probably help Yesung, Leeteuk and the newly-born ChangDiva to pitch the tent but how can I just leave my delicate Heechul to do it himself? I mean, he's totally weak and vulnerable in the middle of the forest when he doesn't have his burning hot hair straightener to protect him.

I should go. Yesung is giving me the death glare and calling me a traitor.

**ChangMacho:**

Yes, I am a MACHO, not a DIVA!

After some time, Siwon finally decided to join us instead of staring at Heechul who was busy telling other people how to put up the tent.

We are actually doing pretty good, I mean we are almost done but.. there's just one problem..

Our tent doesn't have a door for some reason.. Hmm..

Okay, this is hopeless. I quit! * kicks a rock*

We're not that bad when compared to the Shindong-Chun-Ryeowook-Sungmin tent, though.

Because they're not even trying. They decided to sleep in it like four maggots, wrapped in the blankets. Not that I'm impressed. This tent business is of the Devil!

At least somebody got their tent up.

'BUHAHAHA, YunJae got their tents up! UHAHAHHA' Yoochun, you disgusting bastard.

Well, it's kinda true (no not what you have in mind, perverts) because YunJae were the only ones who were actually putting their tent up. Heechul was just standing there, hands on hips and telling them what to do and how to do it. Kangin was making a face like he was totally helping but he was just staring at Leeteuk the whole time, yelling at him when he got 'too close to the forest' I mean, dude, we're in the middle of a friggen forest. Oh and then Leeteuk had to poop but Kangin insisted on coming along which is pretty.. awkward. Because Leeteuk smacked him in the face, telling him to mind his own business.

Oh and the last team Su-Hyuk-Hae, well, they're playing football instead of erecting the tent.

'UUUHAHAHHAHAHHA ERECTING A TENT, UUUAHAHAHHAA, CHANGMIN U GO BOY!' Yoochun is sick.

In the end, YunJae's tent won. We were second.

And now it's the best time of the day – dinner.

**YunMacho?**

YAH, why am I not in the macho-edition? EH? EHHH?

I am a macho man! * shows muscles*

Ahh who am I kidding. I'm not a macho because I didn't carry Jaejoong's 9 bags, right?

But I would've died! I see the pain in Siwon's eyes, I see it, man! I no wanna the pain! :C

At least we won the tent competition.

'FUUHUHHUUHHAHAHHA THE TENT PITCHING COMPETITION – YUNJAE MASTERS IT, UUUHAHHAHAHA!' What the fuck's wrong with Yoochun.

'Go bother a duck-butt or something!' I snort back at him while we're cooking wieners on sticks around the fire.

Junsu looks like I just ear-raped him.

Sorry.

But Jaejoong seems to enjoy those two and that's the most important thing. It feels like YooSu are our children.

I want Bambi to be our child to * sob*

Oh, and we had to choose our sleeping-order. The order in which we are going to sleep. And I'm next to my Jaejoongie- * dances around*

'Yun, why are you so happy and dancy?' Jaejoong asks. Ho shi, I actually danced O_O

**(AN: SIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGHHHH-uhh. So I guess Macho Edition of HIAS wasn't as funny to write****/read as I thought it would be.. This makes me depressed.**

**And when I'm depressed, Yoochun is going to grab Junsu's ass even harder and that you don't want, right? Right? So review!)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Minster:**

So, the tent pitching competition ended with a huge tent-orgy.

'UUHAHAHA, Y U STILL PITCHING YO TENT MAN?' 'SHUT THE HELL UP, CHUNFACE!' I yell, srsly. I hope this dude isn't going to be in our band when we debute..

Although I hope Jaejoong could be.. I mean.. free foodz any time I want, now that's life!

Anyways, now we've put up our tents and it is time to find branches to light the fire, because Kangin managed to poar water on the last fire.. that damn.. MONKEY! D:

**Kangin:**

It wasn't my fault, you assholes!

It was that stupid EunHae couple! They friggen pushed me to the fire (cause Hae said, and I quote: 'My Hyuk is the obly monkey in here! BURN HIM! BURN HIS HAIR SO HE WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE A MONKEY! Hurry!')

I mean, what the shrek! Now half of my hair is burnt and my darling Leeteukie is going to give me a new beautiful not-looking-like-a-monkey haircut! As soon as Heechul gives us his hair-cutting-scissors, though. He's not too keen on sharing just about anything..

**Jaejoong:**

'Awww, Yunnie, look at those two old people, they are soooo cute!' I rub my face to Yunho's sleeve like a cat, because I can!

'Yeah. All they are missing is children..' the Jung laughs. So I laugh, too.

THIS IS IT! If we wanna be the best couple out here, we need to get kids!

Mission get-the-Jung-Almighty-pregnant-by-giving-him-lots-of-yummy-foodz-and-hold-his-hand-while-sleeping-in-the-tent, (Mission Preggers for short) start now!

..

YAH! Yunho just laughed at me, that bastard! He said that this is not the way to get pregnant and if one of us was the wife, it would be ME!

NEVERRRRRRRR!

JUNG YUNHO, DIEEEEEE!

**Min:**

All I see is YunJae leaving their food, Jaejoong attacking Yunho and screaming that he'll never be the woman..

After I've eaten all their food, they stop struggling on top of each other..

Yunho looks at me with glee and whispers something to Jaejoong..

OH CRAPPYDOODLE, what is going on..

**HoTheManOfTheRelationship:**

Ohhhh how I wish this crazy daydream of Jaejoong's was true..

Right now he's imagining that we are in a relationship and he wants a child to be a cooler couple than KangTeuk.

So, fuck yes I'm playing along with his sick and twisted daydream?

.. and now, you can't get pregnant by feeding each other yummy food and holding hands while sleeping, pff, everybody knows that!

You have to * whispers* kiss the other's tummy!

But we're both guys so that's not going to work. Okay actually Jaejoong is just being an impatient little girl about it, so we need a child and we need one FAST!

And I have an idea..

'We should adopt a child! What about that food-stealing-human-eating-machine who just finished eating all our foodz?' I whisper. It's funny how I always blush when Jaejoong's so close to me, heh heheh.

**MinAgainBecauseHeIsAwesome:**

What the firetruck?

Jaejoong just called me his little baby, pat my head and left to pee in the forest..

This is just wrong. So wrong!

AN: sorry, but this is total crap *le cry of disappoint *


End file.
